In today’s world, everyone seems to be a food guru. Some say “eat this not that”, “sugar is bad”, “fat is bad”, “protein is good”, “dessert is off-limits”, “egg-yolks kill you”, “fruit is bad” and the list goes on and on. Have you ever realised that you only live once? Have you ever realised that your only enemy is yourself? Have you ever thought about your relationship with food?
For twelve consecutive years, I have thought of food as my greatest enemy yet my best friend. Little did I know that food is my fuel. Starving, binging and purging or over-exercising will only help fuel my eating disorder.
I experienced a very bad relapse these past few weeks. As soon as I started experiencing eating disorder’s symptoms I felt afraid. I was totally disconnected from myself and as I stand here writing this post, I can totally agree with the “food is fuel” saying. I could not concentrate, nor train the way I usually do, nor feel happy. I stopped cooking (one of my favourite hobbies), felt bored, insecure and brain-fogged. As soon as bulimia tried to be present in my life once again, I decided to ignore it and shut its voice.
Eating disorders aside. Think about the daily processes which your body needs to carry out. Breathing, walking, thinking, talking, working and exercising just to name a few. The basic processes of life need food, therefore, FOOD IS LIFE. It DOES NOT CONTROL our lives. It helps us to live. It helps us to be able to laugh and enjoy our times with family and friends. Food provides us with good memory, healthy heart and mind.
Our body needs all type of food. Food for the body, mind and soul. Food which will help us live a better life, celebrate an achievement or fuel our workouts. It helps us achieve balance. Yes, balance. BALANCE IS THE KEY TO LIFE. It is okay to have a piece of dessert when you feel like it, it is okay to cook your favourite dish and enjoy eating it. We do not live to deprive ourselves. We live to make our lives better. If you are used to eating the whole lot of biscuits, make your life better by having one or two instead of the whole bunch. If you deprive yourself of your favourite sweet, have a small piece and stop there. Instead of starving yourself in order to look better in that little black dress, go cook a nutritious meal.
After years of punishing myself from the joy of food, I am trying to seek balance. I eat a lot of nutritious food but I will never deprive myself of the food which I enjoy most. Food along with weight, is not a measure of my strength.
My strength lies between my ears and it is measured when life gets tough. Strength is measured when I challenge my disordered thoughts and win them over.
Food is a tool. Use it wisely.
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